How To Tell The Rednecks In A Scene
If your idea of fetish gear is camouflage pants, NASCAR
t-shirt, and baseball cap, you just might be a redneck master.
If you have ever gone to a play party in curlers and a kerchief,
you just might be a redneck sub.
If the floor of your dungeon is covered with oil slicks and
grease stains, you just might be a redneck master.
If you count your spankings "1...2...3...the next
number...the next number...the next number...",
you just might be a redneck sub.
If your submissive sleeps outside in a cage and your hunting
dogs share your bed, you just might be a redneck master.
If your safeword is "cut it out or I'm tellin'
Ma", you might just be redneck sub.
If the only submissive you play with is also your wife, your
sister, and your aunt, you just might be a redneck master.
If you know what your Mistress expects from you by the way
she belches, you just might be a redneck sub.
If you need to move carburetors and dead batteries to get
at the St. Andrew's cross, you just might be a redneck
master.
If your master tells you to fix him a steak, and you start
by loading the shotgun, you just might be a redneck sub.
If you keep your crops in a rack on the rear window of the cab
in your pick-up truck, you might just be a redneck master.
If fulfilling your master's every whim means picking
up a 12-pack and changing the TV channels for him, you might
just be a redneck sub.
If your cane doubles as your CB antenna, you just might be
a redneck master.
If you have ever been bound and gagged in the bed of a rusty
pick up truck, you just might be a redneck sub.
If you repair your leather with duct tape, you might just
be a redneck master.
If you have ever tried to brighten the dungeon decor with
a pair of pink flamingos, you just might be a redneck sub.
If your idea of a quality leather shop is BillyJoeBob's
Beer and Bait, you just might be a redneck master.
If you have ever had to use your safeword in order to spit
tobacco juice, you just might be a redneck sub.
If you have ever had to take the deer you were dressing in
order to restrain your slave, you just might be a redneck
master.
If you have ever used nipple clamps in order to remove tics
from master's huntin' dogs, you just might be
a redneck sub.
How To Tell You're In A Redneck Dungeon
Toys are displayed in wall-mounted gun racks.
The dungeon masters are Bubba and Bobbi Sue Cindy.
The hostess has bigger hair than Roseanne's ass.
The suspension rings are hung on the deer's antlers.
The neural wheel is missing a few teeth.
The interrogation chair is the rusted seat from a '68
Ford pickup.
The cage is already occupied...by a pair of tick hounds.
There's an engine, lawn mower, pink flamingo and rusted
patio furniture scattered through out the play area.
The floor covering is hubcaps.
The suspension cuffs are foam beer can covers.
The branding irons have the same Flying ~W~ as on the cow
that was tied to the porch railing.
Coffee cans are strategically located on the floor to collect
spit.
The host refers to 'Y'all dominates and yer li'l
critters'
There is tobacco juice running down the sides of the candles.
The St. Andrew's cross is scorched and all the hoods
are white.
There's a transmission in the sling.
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