my husband
I was very afraid on my wedding night. My husband, a very
sensual man, had been chasing me up the stairs, whispering
unspeakable things into my ears. I felt my body quiver under
the lustful look of his eyes, my mouth give way to his searching
mouth. He put one hand around my small body, as I barely stood
on my toes at the edge of the stairs, the other hand searching
through the folds of my silk gown. I pulled away, and he looked
at me confused. I told him I would be right back from my room,
but closed the door tight on him when i got there.
I was still afraid of him. The way he wanted me, I was scared
I would give in to his needs completely, and then it would
be obvious to him that I need him with all my body and soul.
That I ache for him more than I can say in words. That I fear
I will melt into his arms and never regain consciousness.
He knocks on my door once, then twice, and I stay quiet.
"open the door!" he demands, his hands thumping on the door
like a great big lion.
I find myself writhing in pain as he asks me politely now,
telling me what he wants to do to me right then.
After about a few minutes, i hear him leave the door, and
he goees into the bedroom and shuts the door behind.
I feel terrible. Refusing my husband his first night of
passion, longing for his body next to mine. Slowly I open
the door, tiptoe down the hall and into his room. He is lying
in bed, fast asleep like a baby.
I pull the sheets over him and smile. He's not a lion, just
a helpless little child, I think. And then a hand comes out
of the bedsheet and grabs me around the waist.
'Jon', I yell out his name, laughing at myself for getting
caught, trying to fight his fingers as they tickle me insane
carrying me over to the other side of bed.
He's got me where he wants me, I laugh, giving into his devouring
mouth that travels from head to toe, knowing no inhibition.
'I want you, ' he says, looking deeply into my eyes, and
I can't say a word.
'Do you want me, Emma, ' he whispers, and I feel my world
crashing down, my head spinning with unexplainable need.
I reach over and kiss his mouth, hoping to say in action what
I fail to say in words, and he picks me up, closer to his huge
body.
I cant tell you what happened after that. I dont think I know
how to. But it was the night I found out that he loved me.
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