Blown Away
Mothers often tell their daughters that the way to a man's
heart is through his stomach. Mothers inclined to dispense
romantic advice to their gay sons might advise their boys
to aim a little lower.
Men love getting blow jobs and gay guys love to give them.
The cliche is that women regard fellatio as more duty than
delight, but, for every Madonna who told Rolling Stone
she bows her head for no man, there's a woman like rocker
Liz Phair who took the words out of every fag's mouth
when she sang "I want to be your blow job queen."
The lyrics to Heart's "Barracuda" are
too cryptic to determine where the Wilson sisters stand
on cock sucking, but the song, named after the fish described
as "voracious" and "pikelike, "
clearly alludes to the act. A fish could never bring me "down,
down, down, down on my knees, " but the barracuda
like penis has done it many times.
How could it not?
The tentpole of masculinity, the erect penis absolutely
throbs with authority and power. Skyscrapers, towers,
and jumbo jets all pay it homage, and every weapon from the
sword and the cannon to the nuclear warhead is cast in its
image. And make no mistake, the penis is a weapon. It can
taunt and tease, subdue and oppress, and does it all as it
simultaneously provides pleasure. Proud, omnipotent,
the penis commands respect.
Like every gay boy, I cherish the memory of that first time,
when a man too beautiful to resist invited me to suck his
penis. Licking my lips was an involuntary response, but
when I dropped to my knees I made a conscious decision to
surrender to his power. I opened my mouth, and as the bursting
penis passed between my lips, I shuddered, and every nerve
in my body felt as though it had been struck by lightning.
Yes! Yes! Oh God! Yes! I want this! I need this! It was more
than sex. It was a rebirth and awakening. Confusion gave
way to clarity as his pulsating penis unlocked the door
to my secret desires. If I suffered an identity crisis,
it was over now. I knew who I was and I knew what I wanted: more,
more, more!
As I sucked and moaned with infinite joy, it was inconceivable
that the ecstasy I experienced could be surpassed, but,
in one surprising moment, it was. His penis exploded and
fed my mouth a pool of semen that fully satisfied my deepest
hunger.
I was blown away. Was he?
As a first timer, I gave no thought to technique. I was driven
purely by passion. But as my mouth moved from penis to penis,
I knew that the only way to truly earn my kneepads was by pleasing
my partner as much as his penis pleased me. With time, my
reputation for delivering world class lip service would
attract men to my mouth like bees to honey. The more skilled
I was at sucking those stingers, the more stingers I'd
be permitted to suck. At some point, one of the studs I serviced
would make my heart skip a beat as much as his cock made me
drool.
If you want to get ahead at giving head and become the Blow
Job Queen every queer was born to be, start with Going Down:
The Instinct Guide to Oral Sex by Ben R. Rogers and Joel Perry.
It's only 135 pages, short enough to read again and
again, and you'll want to because with every lesson
you'll be one step closer to becoming a five star cocksucker.
But reading about sucking cock is no substitute for doing
it. Practice makes perfect, so if an opportunity arrives
to put your mouth into action before your book learning
is complete, adhere to the following rules:
* Cover your teeth with your lips
* Control your gag reflex. This is easily achieved when
you really want that dick in your mouth. Passion can carry
you a long way
* Keep your saliva flowing to lubricate the penis
* No matter what they call this glorious act, suck, suck,
suck - don't blow, suck!
* When bobbing your head up and down on his penis, vary the
speed to avoid monotony and to prolong the pleasure for
both of you
* Take his cock out of your mouth for brief periods to rest
your jaw, but keep your tongue busy by licking the head while
you masturbate the shaft with your hand.
* During those moments described directly above, breathlessly
praise his manhood as you lick his balls and the area behind
it (tonguing his testicles is also excellent foreplay)
* Make eye contact. Stare submissively into his eyes to
convey how honored you are to be humbled in this manner.
Acknowledge his power by acknowledging your own powerlessness
in resisting his cock. Feed his ego. After all, he's
feeding you a gourmet meal second to none
* Don't sit on your hands. Gently fondle his balls,
his ass (if it's accessible), chest, arms, and any
other place that will excite him (and you)
* Always lick him clean when you're finished, and say
"Thank you, Sir"
Of course, the best blow jobs are given and received with
patience. Don't rush it. Set aside an hour or two (and
more if you can) and make the BJ the centerpiece of your evening.
However, there's no denying that one of the advantages
a BJ has over other forms of sex is that it can be performed
"on the go." You can always give a quickie in
an elevator, under the table at a restaurant, in a car, a
theater, a restroom, a secluded corner at a party, even
on an airplane. And you can keep your clothes on.
But can the one you suck keep his condom off? The Cleveland
Gay People's Chronicle reported in its January 10,
2003 issue that the San Francisco Department of Public
Health has determined there is "zero evidence you
can catch HIV from sucking or getting sucked." Their
findings are based on a recent study of gay men in the queer
capital of the world. Nonetheless, cocksuckers are advised
to be cautious: know your partner and his HIV status well
before deciding it's safe to bypass the rubber or to
swallow his semen.
As for you studs who hold heaven between your legs yet are
insecure about the size of your power tool, stop worrying.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and so is the size that
makes a man "well-hung." The ten inch penis
does exist, but we're more likely to encounter one
in a porno film than have it touching our tonsils. The average
man's penis is five to six inches long with a circumferance
(thickness) of five inches, a perfect fit for most mouths
(and vaginas, too, for you bi and straight guys into that
sort of thing).
There are factors other than size to consider. Some queens
like an uncircumsized penis, but most fairies prefer cut
cocks. The overall shape and design, the aesthetic appeal,
is also important. Personally, I'm a sucker for a well-rounded,
mushroom shaped head. But let's not overlook the most
important factor of all: the man behind the penis. The late
Milton Berle was legendary for possessing a massive tool,
but photos of Brad Pitt published in Playgirl several years
ago suggest that the blonde beauty has a five incher at best.
But Pitt's penis has a lifelong pass to penetrate my
mouth whenever it pleases, while Uncle Miltie need never
have bothered to unzip.
You may not have heard any of this from your mother, but she
surely told you it's better to give than to receive.
She may not have been referring to blow jobs, but gay guys
can be excused for thinking that's what she meant.
If the way to a man's heart is through his zipper, the
way to a gay guy's heart is through his mouth. Sucking
cock is the best way to explore and express our gayness.
It is an act of worship, but one that requires no sacrifice,
only a desire to please, both ourselves and the men we go
down on.
Brian W. Fairbanks
Copyright 2003 by Brian W. Fairbanks. All rights reserved.
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