Funny Quotes About Sex
Famous Sexy Quotes ...
"Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't
have a good partner,
you'd better have a good hand." Woody Allen
"Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances
for a date on Saturday
night."
Rodney Dangerfield
"There are a number of mechanical devices which increase
sexual
arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the
Mercedes-Benz 380SL."
Lynn Lavner
"Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope."
Camille
Paglia
"Sex is one of the nine reasons for incarnation. The
other eight are
unimportant."
George Burns
"Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake
a whole
relationship."
Sharon Stone
"Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport
for black men.
Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps."
Tiger Woods
My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch."
Jack Nicholson
"Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or
where he lives,
but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is."
Barbara Bush (Former US First Lady, and you didn't
think Barbara had
a sense
of humor)
"Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to
rip out a man's
genitals through his wallet." Robin Williams
"Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place."
Billy
Crystal
"According to a new survey, women say they feel more
comfortable
undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front
of other
women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of
course, men
are just grateful." Robert De Niro
"There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting
that many men are
having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they
cause severe
swelling. So what's the problem?" Dustin Hoffman
"There's very little advice in men's magazines,
because men think, 'I
know what I'm doing. Just show me somebody naked'."
Jerry
Seinfeld
"See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and
a penis, and only
enough blood to run one at a time." Robin Williams
" It's been so long since I've had sex, I've
forgotten who ties up
whom."
Joan Rivers
" Sex is one of the most wholesome, beautiful and natural
experiences
money can buy." Steve Martin
" You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school
until you get older.
Little things like being spanked every day by a middle-aged
woman.
Stuff you pay good money for in later life." Elmo Phillips
" Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the
same." Oscar
Wilde
" It isn't premarital sex if you have no intention
of getting
married."
George Burns
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