Married, but not to each other
I'm a married man, and have been married before, the
first time I was young, the second time I was stupid, asking
a new partner to marry me after we had both just come out of
long term relationships. Even before I got married the
second time, Id fallen in love with another woman, but
she was married with children, we've been seeing each
other for nearly 6 years now, stolen moments, sometimes
minutes, others hours, but we have never been given the
chance to wake in each others arms, always leaving each
other in the early morning light, yet we are both so in love,
knowing that the morning we do wake in each others arms,
neither of us can go back.
What time we do spend together is generally always spent
making love, for as long as possible, using each others
bodies to fulfil the desires weve had to hold onto for so
long, sometimes weeks pass before we can see, hold, taste
each other once more, allowing me to pleasure her till satiated,
leaving her exhausted and sometimes in tears of how wonderful
it has been, the emotions of not being together and then
feeling so incredible becoming too much knowing that we
would have to once more leave each others embrace.
I've talked with my current partner about not being
happy and over the last few months weve started working
towards the separation, she seems to be okay with it, mentioning
things each week that we will need to do, too be apart, but
is she really coping or just putting on a brave face. My job
takes me away for weeks at a time, sometimes to different
countries and I spend more time talking with my lover than
my wife. My lover is in her own un-rewarding marriage, yet
she says shes staying only while it is still harmonious
and till she knows her children have been given the best
start in their lives that she could have possibly given
them. She even sat back and watched me marry another knowing
that she couldnt come to me just yet, or was it because she
didnt really want to leave that which she already had?.
The children are only just reaching their teens, how long
will I need to wait for her to come to me, will she ever come!,
we have learned from and taught each other so much of love
and life in the past few years, both so eager to make the other
feel incredible, satisfied, loved, we once even met a lady
on another site once and shared our first threesome. The
emotions of that night neither of us will forget, they we're
almost too much for either of us to bare. It was so easy for
us to fantasise about loving a third, but during the actual
physical, and emotional act, or after the act really, she
told me how hard it had been for her to watch me sharing, loving
another, we realised then that we would have to understand
each other a lot more before we could ever do that again.
She is so special, the way she cares for, looks after and
tends to my needs, desires, the same I do for her, never before
have I met a woman so physically beautiful and sexually
exciting that wanted to love me, both in the giving and in
the receiving.
What I find hard is that she openly jokes about me flirting
while Im away, saying it would be a thrill for her to know
that I had chased and bed another woman, suggesting its
ok as long as I send her the photos, and tell her about it in
detail, yet I know it hurts her to say these things, would
hurt even more if I did it, so why does she suggest these things?,
is it because she wants me to get on with my life and enjoy
it while she cant be with me? Or is she hoping deep down that
I will find another, pushing me away so she never has to make
that choice we both face. A choice knowing that everything
required to transpire for us to be together will leave more
than one person hurt in both our lives.
What chances do we have of ever being together and living
happily ever after, is there anyone else out there in a similar
relationship, how does society look upon those of us who
fell in and out of love, finally meeting the one person weve
been searching for all our lives, only to find that they
are unavailable, wondering what the future may bring.
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